**Initially, this post was titled A Day In The Life Of A Stay At Home Mum but after an hour of writing I’d not even left the house so I think a shorter timeframe is more appropriate!**

We’ve all seen the fabulous photos of celebrity mums lording it up around town with their immaculate children and put-together looks. When you decided to have kiddies, I’m sure you thought ‘I’m going to be that mum, stay at home with my kids and thoroughly enjoy the blessing that is have a family…aaaahhhh’

Skip forward a few years and too many sleepless nights and I am now that mum (well, I stay at home with my kids!).  To all the other stay at home mums, hands up who has been on the receiving end of ‘it’s such a luxury to be able to stay at home with your kids’?  Luxury?!  Here is a morning in my life – let’s see how luxurious it is.

Please note, this depicts neither a good day nor a bad day…just a day!

5:00am   Open eyes and notice the General is in the bed (can’t remember that happening) and quickly pretend to be asleep so as not to wake him

5:30am   “MUUUUUUUMMMMMMY the sun’s come up!” Urgh. Spend the next 45 minutes putting the Lord back into bed until his Gro clock has ACTUALLY woken up.

6:15am   Everyone is up and chattering like an annoying toy with no volume control.  Pretend to be awake whilst building flying tow trucks and wiping snotty noses

6:30am   Mr. British Maple is up (we take it in turns to do the early shift) and offers me the chance to shower….YESSSSSS!

6:31am   Aaaah….get into a steaming hot shower, drowning out the noise of life

6:32am   Rub too much shampoo into hair and begin to relax as…BALL BAGS! The shower door opens.  SHIT! Soap in my eyes.  Rinse my eyes and feel a cold, small hand on my leg.  Temporarily blinded by Tresemmé, Pray that the invading man cub is naked and not fully clothed like last time.

6:33am   Phew…man cub is sans clothes but demanding to be picked up.

6:35am   Wrestle man cub into a towel and out of the bathroom.  Begin to drag a comb through my unconditioned hair

6:38am   Give up combing my hair and opt for the ‘messy bun’ look instead

6:40am   Choose the Mum Uniform for the day (stripes, skinnies and Converse – check!)

6:45am   Take a deep breath before entering the T(oddler)-Zone …

6:46am   Boil kettle

6:48am   Attempt to round up the troops for breakfast

7:00am   Boil kettle again

7:15am   Get troops seated.  Pour milk onto Shreddies for the Lord.  Wait for the Lord to calm down because he wants “Cheerios, no milk on it”.  Give Shreddies to the General.

7:20am   Scrape Shreddies back into the bowl for the third time

7:25am   Swap sippy cup for a ‘big boy’ cup

7:26am   Mop up the water spilt from the big boy cup

7:27am   Boil kettle…again

7:40am   Get man cubs down from the table.  Scrape wet Shreddies from PJs (they’ll be good for another couple of nights)

7:41am   Stand in soggy Shreddies, Pick off my socks and carry on with trying to find the Lego tow truck hook for the Lord

7:45am   Choose outfit for the Lord and realise half his wardrobe is still in the dryer.

7:50am  Calm a stroppy Lord down because his favourite jumper has last night’s dinner on it

8:00am    Give in and let the Lord wear the dirty jumper

8:05am   Boil the kettle and get a mug out (progress!)

8:06am   Remember that the boys have a music class at 9am…flipping heck!!!

8:07am   Frantically scrabble together a bag of snacks, trying not to rustle the Goldfish crackers bag

8:15am   Pour lukewarm water onto instant coffee in the mug.  Take a much-needed sip and….

8:16am    Break up a toddler tussle over a dried up marker pen

8:20am   Lock the boys into the bathroom and use UFC-style manoeuvres on the General in order to brush his teeth

8:21am   Retrieve the General’s toothbrush from the bath

8:22am   Retrieve the Lord’s toothbrush from the bath

8:30am   Bribe the Lord into leaving the house with promises of train tracks and snacks

9:00am   Finally leave the house (late) and cry a little bit on the inside at the sight of my cold coffee on the counter…

The rest of the day follows a similar pattern but it’s a pattern I wouldn’t change for the world!

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*Kudos to Hurrah For Gin and her take on dressing like a mum which I’m sure resonates with many of us!!