No Mum’s Land

Since moving back to the UK, I have been in a bit of a rut. No motivation to do anything but having far too much to be getting on with. You know, all that mundane life admin that piles up to create a sea of monotony and soul-destroying tedium?! I’ve found it pretty tough leaving my Tdot Mama Tribe (and the year-round blue skies) so it’s been a lonely few months of settling down, doing up the house and trying to make friends. Continue reading


The Pocket Money Conundrum

Let me start by saying that today has NOT worked out as I had planned. It’s Tuesday which is officially my day off as both the Lord and the General are usually at school. Unfortunately, the winter bug has finally found our house and floored the both of them.

So, I have cancelled my plans to ‘do lunch’ and instead have endured hours of seemingly endless episodes of twatty pigs, thick as pigshit dogs in uniform and talking cars. Continue reading

Let’s Talk About Boobies Again

Amidst the chaos that has been our life for the past few months, a very significant change has happened.  I’m not sure when, exactly, it happened, nor do I know exactly how; but I have rather mixed feelings about it. I have gone from being a seasoned tandem nurser to a no-milk mama. I am thrilled to have my body back but there is another emotion I haven’t quite managed to put my finger on yet. Continue reading

Home Sweet Home Series: The Journey Begins

It’s taken far too long to publish this post and for that, I apologise. My entire existence during the last six months has been an intricate balancing act of keeping my kids alive, maintaining my sanity and trying to make our new house habitable as our new home.

77 days ago we exchanged on our new house and yet, we only moved in a couple of weeks ago; but I FINALLY have the space and and solitude (bwaaahahaha) to focus on something other than keeping the kids’ toys in check (this factor will inevitably play a role; but it will be MY house and if I decide that a cuppa takes priority then stuff it!!!) Continue reading

Be Right Back

With the chaos of Christmas behind us and the grey, lull of January already in full flow it is sometimes hard to see our goals. I usually enter January with an optimistic bounce, hopeful I WILL achieve whatever chuff I’ve decided is important this year.

This year is an exception, though. I am so utterly exhausted I cannot even see where the weekend is, let alone Spring! Last year, my sole intention was to calm down and, as with every other year, I have epically failed yet again! Yes, I have reduced my shouting because I now practice the art of Public Parenting (on the blog soon!) but ever other element of my life has not seen a stitch of calmness! Continue reading

2016: A Year In Review

Firstly, I would like to apologise for ignoring you all during the last month. It’s been a corker of a December, filled with too much food, too many builders and not enough painting. The lurgy has floored us all and sleep has been non-existent but we are in touching distance of a new year and so, it seems appropriate to take stock of the year that was.

2016 was the year we moved from Canada to England. 18 months in the making, the move was emotional, exciting, daunting, lonely, comforting and a thousand other things all rolled into one. I still miss Toronto every day but we are well on our way to being settled. Continue reading

My First Guest Post: How To Have An Affair…

A few weeks ago, I had the honour of tainting someone else’s blog with my ramblings. The wonderful Cheltenham Maman published my first ever guest post and here it is in case you missed it (and also because it’s been a busy month with very little blog loving from me!)

How to have an affair…with yourself!

I am not a very good liar, let’s be clear on that from the outset.  If you’re reading this for tips on how to have an actual affair then I think you will be disappointed! If, however you want to know it’s okay to leave your family for a night and take a well earned break from this shitshow we call parenting then please read on!

I am incredibly old-fashioned in my approach to parenting. Both Mr. British Maple and I firmly believe that these miniature humans are solely our responsibility and that any help offered should be kindly accepted but never expected. To this end, we have had very little time to ourselves (and even less time together by ourselves but let’s save that story for another day!) We’ve been back in the UK for a few months now and the legendary Mr. British Maple suggested I have a break and visit some of my old friends up North (I know I’ve bagged a good’un and am totally punching above my weight!!) Continue reading

To Three Or Not To Three…

I recently found an amazing physio in Cheltenham who specialises in post-baby body recovery (she helps you mend your own body, not recover the body of the last person who asked you if you were pregnant 18 months after the fact!!!)

As with these things, our first session was predominantly getting to know each other (think of it as a first date but without the awkward should I/shouldn’t I go in for the kiss). We talked about my births, my recovery progress so far (I had an amazing physio in Toronto too) and all the other guff that goes with these things, like how much control over my  southern hemisphere I have, etc. Continue reading

Home Sweet Home: It’s All About The Money, Money, Money

Welcome to the first official The British Maple: Home Sweet Home series post!

Before we get to all the exciting progress pictures, paint charts and Mr. BM vs Mrs. BM arguments about countertops (I know that’s what you’re all interested in!) let’s talk about money.

This will be our third ‘home set up from scratch’ so I feel like I am now at the intermediate level of homemaker (quite literally!) Having said that, the majority of my financial wizardry (more Worst Witch than Hermione Granger) is relevant to any situation. Continue reading