Read My Lips

Those that know me off-screen (that sounds a bit swish!) know that I have, in recent months, developed a noticeable penchant for lipstick. What started out as a desperate attempt to distract from the haggard mum bags I carried under my eyes on really crap days, has slowly developed into a daily habit. Lipstick makes me feel confident but I had to get over the self-consciousness first. Drawing attention to any one part of myself didn’t sit well with me (regardless of how sanguine I come across!) but I am so glad I persevered. Continue reading

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10 Reasons Why: I’m #SorryNotSorry

Initially this was going to be a profound, thought-provoking piece of undiscovered, literary gold, exploring the emotional impact of making apologies for your child and their idiosyncrasies. And then I thought nah, let’s start with gin. Continue reading

Find Your Catalyst

At the end of my last few posts I have added a little personal update.  It’s all been rather tongue in cheek (which is very much my style) but I think it deserves a little more credit and its own post:

I’ll let you in on a little (badly kept) secret…I may appear gregarious and outgoing to many of you; but underneath the sarcasm and smiles, I am a panicky, lost little human (aren’t we all?) Continue reading

That’s Not My Mummy…

A few weeks ago, whilst we were visiting Granny Ev and Pop, the boys became transfixed with the slideshow of photographs that plays on repeat on Pop’s Mac. There were photos of holidays, old cars, eBay sale items and loads of family throughout the years.

Every now and then, the Lord would ask “who’s that, Mummy” and I’d fill in the blanks with a cheeky little anecdote about the event or person. As the weekend went by however, I noticed that on most occasions they didn’t even recognise their own mother! The baby photos I get, but surely I’ve not changed that much in the last twenty odd years, have I?!

Continue reading

No Mum’s Land

Since moving back to the UK, I have been in a bit of a rut. No motivation to do anything but having far too much to be getting on with. You know, all that mundane life admin that piles up to create a sea of monotony and soul-destroying tedium?! I’ve found it pretty tough leaving my Tdot Mama Tribe (and the year-round blue skies) so it’s been a lonely few months of settling down, doing up the house and trying to make friends. Continue reading

Be Right Back

With the chaos of Christmas behind us and the grey, lull of January already in full flow it is sometimes hard to see our goals. I usually enter January with an optimistic bounce, hopeful I WILL achieve whatever chuff I’ve decided is important this year.

This year is an exception, though. I am so utterly exhausted I cannot even see where the weekend is, let alone Spring! Last year, my sole intention was to calm down and, as with every other year, I have epically failed yet again! Yes, I have reduced my shouting because I now practice the art of Public Parenting (on the blog soon!) but ever other element of my life has not seen a stitch of calmness! Continue reading

How To Be A Grown Up

Do you ever look up and wonder when you’ll be as grown-up the people around you? Every flipping day I walk out and marvel at how adult everyone seems to be…except me!

I am the mum on the school run without makeup (or worse, the remnants of yesterday’s makeup because I didn’t tame the tribe long enough for a shower). I am the 33 year-old who still wears a backpack (and not a trendy Fjällräven one, a sensible, boring one from IKEA because it was ‘sturdy for the price’). Continue reading

I Write For Me: A Metaphor For Life

Some of the eagle-eyed among you might have noticed a slight shift in the ‘tone’ of my posts a few weeks ago. The potty-mouth dried up, I started writing ‘list posts’ and The British Maple started to smell like every other mum blog out there.

Well, I’m back! I lost my way a little bit, but please forgive me. You see, when I started The British Maple, it was a means of sharing my ramblings (and mishaps) with anyone who was willing to listen. Continue reading