I’m Too Busy…

Ever wondered why kids have no concept of time? Could it be because every time we say things like “with you in two minutes, darling” or “just a second, sweetie” it is a complete and utter lie?! I find myself spouting lies like this on a daily basis (when has ANYTHING ever taken just two minutes?!)

Everyone I speak to these days is running to keep up with life. Continue reading

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Man, I Feel Like A Woman!

 

This is a post I’ve wanted to write for quite some time, so here it is. I usually avoid controversial topics on here because I am rubbish at standing up for myself and my skin is as thick as a Tesco Value tissue. That being said, I consider myself a strong person. I am fiercely independent, [vaguely] intelligent and never satisfied with just watching life.

I am also incredibly proud to be a womanContinue reading

O Canada…I’m Still In Love With Thee

Given my strapline is Brit mama with Canadian tendencies, I felt it was high time to talk about the Great White North again. I may not refer to her much, but Canada is a huge part of who I am. The Lord and the General are both Canadian and I made some of my best friends out there.

Becoming an expat can be a rollercoaster of emotions – scary, exciting, lonely, challenging; but there are some fantastic resources to tap into and the adrenaline of the adventure can carry you a long way. When you return home however, there is very little to help you readjust. The adventure of an ex-expat is equally as turbulent.  Continue reading

10 Reasons Why: I Will Never Make It As A Lifestyle Blogger

There are some pretty impressive lifestyle bloggers and Instagrammers out there. I follow several peeps whose lives in little squares look beautiful and amazing. Now, I know full well that they probably have a mahoosive cupboard full of shit and only 30% of their home is actually shown, but I am still in awe of them!

In contrast, here are ten reasons why I will never make it as a lifestyle blogger: Continue reading

I’ll Hold Your Hand

I’ve often joked that I have three children because Mr. British Maple is a massive kid (fortunately he can just about feed himself and doesn’t talk about poo constantly either!) He’s always first in the ball pit or down the slide. Whilst others roll their eyes at the thought of soft play, Mr.BM is digging out his loyalty card faster than I can open a bottle of wine.

The Lord and the General love how fun Daddy is and how willing he is to be silly and squeeze himself between padded rollers whilst being chased by a mob of sweaty, demented kids (he usually temporarily adopts at least three per soft play session). They take for granted how lucky they are to have such an involved daddy and I get so many warm and fuzzies from seeing them galavanting around. Continue reading

Coffee...just what the doctor ordered

It’s Good To Talk

A few days ago I had coffee with a good friend. She’s a relatively new friend and someone who I see frequently but never on a one to one. She’s bright, engaging, confident and fun to be around so I was truly looking forward to sitting across a table from her.

If I’m being honest, I was selfishly anticipating taking much more away from the date than she would. I was hoping to tap into her experience and wisdom to help me make some decisions about my own life once both kids are safely ensconced in the school system. Continue reading

Find Your Catalyst

At the end of my last few posts I have added a little personal update.  It’s all been rather tongue in cheek (which is very much my style) but I think it deserves a little more credit and its own post:

I’ll let you in on a little (badly kept) secret…I may appear gregarious and outgoing to many of you; but underneath the sarcasm and smiles, I am a panicky, lost little human (aren’t we all?) Continue reading

That’s Not My Mummy…

A few weeks ago, whilst we were visiting Granny Ev and Pop, the boys became transfixed with the slideshow of photographs that plays on repeat on Pop’s Mac. There were photos of holidays, old cars, eBay sale items and loads of family throughout the years.

Every now and then, the Lord would ask “who’s that, Mummy” and I’d fill in the blanks with a cheeky little anecdote about the event or person. As the weekend went by however, I noticed that on most occasions they didn’t even recognise their own mother! The baby photos I get, but surely I’ve not changed that much in the last twenty odd years, have I?!

Continue reading

Introducing The CHUMPs

As the General Election looms and certain key political figures are demonstratively missing from the stage; I have taken heed of the public backlash and completed my alternative political parties series as promised!

Today is the turn the Child-Hating Unattached Men Party, affectionately known as CHUMPs. This interview was a toughie because CHUMPs like to stay fairly anonymous and prefer to spread their message vicariously. Nevertheless, The British Maple dug deep and got to the bottom of their key policies and plans for the future post-election. Continue reading

The MERLOT Party

As promised in my last post, today we take a look at our second alternative political party – the Mums Estranged from Real Life Outside Toddlerdom party.

Contrary to its name, the MERLOT party includes and represents the views of dads, guardians and the odd teacher or ten too. Their main aim is to assist in the rebalance of power in the homes of all toddler keepers.

Today, I interview myself (the friends list is still pretty short) to see what improvements the MERLOT party could bring to the UK. Continue reading