The Toddler Party Manifesto

I don’t like to get political on The British Maple (mostly because it makes me cross and I hate arguments!) but with the UK general election looming, I thought it was high time to bring some high brow discussion to the table.

I’m not overly enamoured with any of my political options this time round (are we ever?!) so I turned to the Lord and the General for an alternative. After all, if a blithering, swollen headed womb ferret with a bad case of verbal diarrhoea can ‘run’ one of the world’s largest countries, surely a couple of gobby toddlers can make a go of it too?! Continue reading


Life Is A Journey, Not A Destination.

Wednesdays are my second favourite day of the week because the Lord is safely out of the way at daycare (Fridays are my favourite day of all because they’re both in daycare – does that make me a bad mummy?!)

Anyway, on this, my second favourite day, I took the General to the park and for once, he was pretty content to play with other children without my involvement. This gave me some much-needed time to sit and reflect.  I resisted the urge to get out my phone to catch up on the three texts I’d still not replied to and just watched.  Continue reading

Screw You 4am…An Update!

It’s been a couple of weeks since you peeps heard from me and with good reason!  Aside from having my four wisdom teeth pulled (ouchie), Mr. British Maple has been suffering from Man Flu – a fate worse than any tooth extraction.

Enough of our physical woe, though.  I thought it was time to provide a little update on my last post (I apologise for the choice language, by the way – lack of sleep makes me cranky, to say the least). Continue reading

Screw you, 4am…and other choice phrases

Once upon a time there was a girl who met a guy.

They fell in love, bought a house, got married, moved to Canada, had a baby and never slept again…The End?! Well, we can’t actually see the end but every single, cosmo-foresaken night we hope to the ends of the Earth that tonight will be the night that they finally both sleep.

Continue reading